"We predict that Licensed to Kill will soon become a tobacco company for the rest of the tobacco industry to reckon with. Good-bye Marlboros. Hello Global Massacres!"
-- Lee Thaule, Putrid Financial

"Investing in Licensed to Kill is a surefire way to literally make a killing."
-- Hans Balutti, Moral Lynch

"Licensed to Kill is a breath of smoky truth, in an industry better known for lies and deception. We predict that the company's upfront acknowledgement of its real purpose will largely protect it from the kinds of lawsuits currently plaguing the rest of the industry. We therefore, give Licensed to Kill a top investment rating"
-- Mishunto Keele, Soldman, Gax & Co.

"With the Commonwealth of Virginia firmly behind it, Licensed to Kill, Inc, is the latest Merchant of Death to join the corporate battle for the wallets and lungs of the world's masses. The company can't help but reap huge profits in the years to come."
-- Lott O. Graves, Solemn Scythe Barney