We're Rich, You're Dead!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: April 17, 2003
Contact: Corrie Prutspin, tobacco@licensedtokill.biz

Altria Group Gets New Rival

New Tobacco Company, Licensed to Kill, Inc,
Incorporated in the State of Virginia


Aims to Kill Over 400,000 Americans
and 4.5 Million Other People Worldwide Annually

Richmond, VA - Today, Licensed to Kill, Inc, the world's newest multinational tobacco company, publicly announced its incorporation with the launch of the company's website: www.licensedtokill.biz.

Licensed to Kill, Inc, was officially incorporated in the state of Virginia on March 19, 2003. The company's purpose, as stated in its articles of incorporation, is "the manufacture and marketing of tobacco products in a way that each year kills over 400,000 Americans and 4.5 million other persons worldwide."

"Licensed to Kill, Inc is pretty much like any other tobacco company. We kill to make a profit," said LtK CEO Rich Fromdeth "The main difference is that we're very upfront about our purpose, and this is reflected in our name."

"The name "Licensed to Kill" derives from the Latin words 'licere' and 'caedere', meaning 'permission to kill'," says Corrie Prutspin, Senior VP of Corporate Communications, "The name connotes an enterprise that is fully authorized by the state to aim for peak performance and constant improvement in killing for profit."

The new company is banking on its brutal honesty to spare itself from the multitude of lawsuits currently plaguing other companies within the industry. Many of these lawsuits have centered on the tobacco industry's long history of lies and deception about the deadly nature of the business.

"We would like to especially thank the Commonwealth of Virginia's State Corporation Commission for granting us permission to exist," says company Director Gray Vastone, "If a person was to ask the state for authorization to go on a serial killing rampage, he would surely be locked up in jail or a mental institution. Luckily, such moral standards do not apply to corporations."

Licensed to Kill's initial line of cigarettes includes: Global Massacre, Serial Killer, Genocide, and WOMD, with plans to add Throat Hole, Chemo, Grim Reaper, and Morgue shortly. The company's official motto is: "We're rich, you're dead!"

View a certified copy of Licensed to Kill, Inc's articles of incorporation at: www.licensedtokill.biz/articles.pdf

For additional information about Licensed to Kill, Inc, visit our website at:www.licensedtokill.biz

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© 2003 Licensed to Kill, Inc
Website disclaimer: Licensed to Kill, Inc stands by the veracity, but not the morality
of the contents of www.licensedtokill.biz, as well as the behavior of our company and its public statements.